WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CHAOS, REARRANGE IT: MY OFFICE-BEDROOM SWAP SAGA
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THE “WHY” BEHIND THE CHAOS
Hello. Hi. How are ya?
It’s a public holiday today, and I’ve spent it rotting, marinating, if you will, and I’m not even mad about it because last week, I orchestrated a full-on room coup. I swapped my bedroom and office. El swapo. The ol’ switcheroo. Why? Because after a group therapy session (aka, chatting with friends), I realised my office was way bigger than my bedroom. Like, duh. Why wasn’t the bigger room the one where I sleep, frolic, and, let’s be real, have zero sex?
Also, let’s talk about the morning sun situation. My old bedroom was basically a solar cooker. Whenever my best friend slept over, she’d wake up drenched in sweat… hot. My aircon is trash, and since I’m a tenant, my landlord could not care less. Ceiling fans? Pfft, dream on, peasant. Meanwhile, my old office stayed cool and shaded, sparking the ultimate epiphany: “Why the fuck is this your bedroom, you dumb bitch? Swap them over immediately.”
Now, pre-medication Madison would’ve ignored this revelation and continued complaining into the void, but thanks to Big Pharma, I felt the surge of purpose I needed to tackle this mammoth task. And honestly? I was kind of excited.
ACT I: THE GREAT FURNITURE HEIST
The day before the big move, I strategised. I examined every piece of furniture and planned the order of attack like I was leading a military operation. First up: the bed.
And you know what? I’ve never been prouder of myself. I disassembled and reassembled that bed like a pro. Past me would’ve just stared at the frame and cried, but current me? Current me got it done. Sure, I ended up covered in bruises, and my knees are still traumatised from carpet shuffling, but those battle scars? Proof that I am no longer a useless potato. I am now a productive potato.
Miraculously, I didn’t break a single thing during the move. I did, however, break a sweat. Actually, I’ve never been sweatier in my life. At one point, I had a headband on to keep my fringe out of my face, which resulted in a hairstyle that can only be described as Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary. Naturally, this was the exact moment I ran into my new neighbours, three young men in a share house. Hot tradie neighbour, if you’re reading this: I swear I don’t always look like a rejected science experiment.
ACT II: THE “OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE” PHASE
There was one moment where I almost called it quits: the desk.
This desk is an absolute unit. I’m convinced it’s made of melted anvils because it weighs more than my existential dread. I had a grand plan to take the legs off and move it in three pieces, but when I flipped it over (a process that took approximately five minutes and 6 grunts), I realised the legs don’t come off. Cue panic.
I sat there, defeated, thinking I’d have to undo all my hard work and put everything back where it was. But then, like an angel sent from heaven, my roommate came to the rescue. Turns out she has superhuman strength and is now my official backup in case of home intruders.
The rest of the move went smoothly-ish. I also decided to buy blackout curtains to solve the whole sun issue because I work in my office in the mornings, and cooking alive isn’t on my agenda. Off to IKEA I went, spending my life savings on fabric. Then came the curtain dance with my mum. As a seasoned RAAF brat, she’s a pro at setting up rental-friendly solutions, and watching her install curtains was poetry in motion. Thanks, Mum. You’re a legend.
ACT III: THE AFTERMATH (AKA, MY NEW KINGDOM)
Now? Both my office and bedroom are dark. Gloriously dark. They match my soul.
My new bedroom is huge, giving me all the space I need for activities (and fewer opportunities to hit my shin on the bed frame). My office is perfectly shaded, and the blackout curtains? Life-changing. I even bought more smart plugs so I can control everything without moving. I am living the dream.
At this point, I feel invincible. I conquered the great room swap, and now I’m ready for anything. Gentlemen, if you’d like to admire my new digs, applications are open. Please… Please..
LESSONS LEARNED FROM THE SWAP
- I can do hard things.
- Always have a friend on standby for moral support (and heavy lifting).
- Sometimes, changing your surroundings is exactly what you need to shake things up mentally.
A CALL TO REARRANGE
So, here’s my challenge to you: fix what’s annoying you about your space. Rearrange. Replace. Renew.
For ages, I put off getting blackout curtains because spending money on a rental felt pointless. But honestly? Those fabric rectangles have changed my life. And that’s kind of beautiful, don’t you think?
Sometimes the best way to fix your life is to play a game of Tetris with your furniture. Go forth and rearrange.
Wishing you all an exceptional week, or perhaps just an average one. Average is perfectly fine.
Song recommendation of the week: Jerkin’ by Amyl And The Sniffers
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